Sexual health is vitally important within our marriages as an aspect of our ability to connect and communicate.
We have a physical nature to us that is designed to inspire intimacy and connection, keeping us bonded together, a family. A good relationship is ultimately the “spice of life”. A happy and healthy marriage is key to longevity, healthy aging, fulfillment, and a general sense of peace and satisfaction with our lives.
But stress can build from outside and inside our relationships, causing DIS-CONNECT.
We have become a country of spouses just walking away, reaching for a red bull and divorce attorney.So what is happening?
One thing that we all experience can create a block to our intimacy unless we have disciplines, practices, and understanding in place. This is stress.
Anyone experience stress?
- Work Stress?
- Family Stress? (teenagers in your home? can I have an AMEN!)
- Caregiving Stress? (so many of you are taking care of multiple generations…I applaud you!)
- Relationship Stress?
- Electronics Stress? (yes, too many of us are buried in our electronics versus experiencing our real relationships…and the stress of the news and other real-time info is distracting us from connecting with our partner and family)
Have you ever felt disconnected or burnt out?
When I ask this question at couples’ workshops, every couple in the room raises a hand. It is the norm, unfortunately.
Maybe you yourself have felt like:
- I used to love my job but now I hate going to work.
- I/we love beach walks and hiking but now I/we never do it.
- I love my spouse but don’t feel like having sex anymore.
We need to understand stress, and how it can hurt us physically, mentally and emotionally.
In all of my restorative health programs I talk about stress, acute and chronic, as well as post traumatic stress, early childhood trauma, earlier stresses that – when we come to the hormonal shifts of menopause, postpartum, PMS, andropause, the imbalances of our mother hormones, Progesterone and Pregnenolone – can cause us to experience a more difficult time in these transition years, plus the sense of increasing burn out or disconnect stemming from an imbalance in our cortisol-oxytocin hormones.
Worth repeating: as we age, all of the stresses we earlier experienced in our lives – or are currently experiencing – impact our balance of cortisol (our stress hormone) and oxytocin (our bonding hormone)…and the result is that we go through our perimenopause and menopause suffering even more….especially relating to connecting with others.
Seriously, all these stressors can result in poor health, chronic fatigue, and can cause a physiological disconnect!
Cortisol versus Oxytocin
Physical stress, chronic fatigue and other medical conditions can create a Cortisol-Oxytocin disconnect where in fact your body and your brain betray you. It may cause you to betray yourself and those you love. It may cause you to check out of your relationship.
It may cause you to explore quick fixes or dopamine surges, or novelty seeking behavior or addicted behavior that leads you down a really crooked, rocky road.
What is a person/couple to do about this hormone imbalance and disconnect?
For me, when I feel completely out of sorts, I certainly rely on my faith, disciplines and principles, to help me through it.
But there is so much more to getting back into balance. The Oxytocin-Cortisol connection disconnect is a key element to this.
And there are many other components to it as well. So what can you do?
Reigniting and reuniting
It is so important that I developed a very special workshop, Sexual CPR, which is all about reigniting and reuniting and really connecting on deeper levels that help us do a better job of being in relationships, in our marriage and in our families.
It is a 7 part program which helps you figure out what the foundation issues are in your own sexual health as well as your relationship’s health…and provides you the tools to reignite the connection with your significant other (or helps you understand what to do when you find your significant other).
Here are just a few of the topics which are addressed:
- How you can determine if there might be anatomical issues or hormonal issues behind your low or non-existent sexual response. A lot of times for females the issue is simple: sex may just hurt!
- How and why intercourse involves much more than just the penis and the vagina
- The anatomy of the clitoris and the complexity of the female orgasm (and how to achieve it easily even if you’ve struggled with this your entire life)
- How to stay present during intercourse
Why you do your man a favor when you communicate your sexual needs (and the best way to communicate what you want without hurting his feelings)
- How to keep your relationship sizzling hot (even after kids and years of marriage)
I encourage you to listen in to my FREE Webinar Help, Doctor! My Sex Drive Has No Pulse, to really see the multifactorial way to approach connection, energy to connect and to regain your intimacy. It will also introduce some of the concepts of my Sexual CPR workshop to you.
Bring a powerful connection back into your marriage. It is so important.
And ladies, if “sex does hurt” I encourage you to not only check out my free webinar…but take my Eve Quiz. This quiz gives you a quick “snapshot” of your sexual and pelvic health. Libido and sexual satisfaction involve many components, and some key ones are physical. If you are experiencing dryness, pain during intercourse, incontinence or any number of vaginal symptoms…those need to be corrected!
In 2 minutes flat, you’ll get a score (from 0 to 70 – where lower is better) that represents an assessment of your sexual and pelvic health. Once you know your starting number, it’s much easier to improve
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